Woman Run Over By A Church

TORONTO, ON  December 19,2005 — Yesterday, a Toronto woman was run over by a portable church while making her way through the Famous Players Paramount theatre on Richmond.  Ms. Clark was found badly shaken and pinned by the church atop a garbage can, unable to move .

Ms. Clark, a strong supporter of Xmas, commented, “While I wasn’t raised in an organised religion, I never thought they were actually out to get me.”

The driver of the church, in this preach and push collision, proportedly said “Oh, God! Are you okay?”  (though no attempt has been made to corroborate the appropriateness of this use of the Lord’s name.)

The church itself had a large plaque on it labeling it a “Portable Church” and was at the theatre as part of “The Meeting House”a church for people who aren’t into church, which holds weekly ministries on Sunday at the Famous Players Paramount

This accident occured as Ms. Clark made her way to theatre #14 to see “The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe” a movie many believe to be an allegory of the Christ myth.

Ms. Clark’s partner, Mr. Thorpe was seated comfortably in Theatre #14 at the time. However, he later commented “I guess they’ve stopped converting to keep their number up and have moved directly to eliminating non-believers.”

No one was seriously hurt in the incident, but many popcorn were lost.

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