Saving Time?

“Hi. I’d like to make a deposit to my Daylight Savings Account. No wait.  A withdrawal. No, that can’t be right.  Spring ahead, fall… back?  Spring forward, fall down… Oh, damn!  Can I just please have an hour of what everyone else is having!”

As all of you who have ever arranged to meet me at a specific time, time isn’t a real thing to me. Or more specifically, it isn’t linear.

Oh sure, it passes for me just like for everyone else but sometimes it takes hours for the clock to tick away 60 minutes, and other times I look up from work and it’s 3 o’clock already.  Time is a nebulous thing and “telling time” is an arbitrary way to label it so we can talk about it together.  It’s useful, but not really holistic.

So this whole “Spring ahead, fall back” aphorism for Daylight Savings Time is completely useless to me. I never know which way to adjust the clock.

“Spring ahead”, so I’m “ahead of time” which means I’m early.  I have extra time. So that means to “spring ahead” should give me more time, so I get another hour… oh crap what does that mean?

Okay, let’s try again.

“Fall back”. Back is behind.  If I’m behind that means I’m late.  That means the clock lied to me and is reading later than it is, so… “fall back” means set my clock to… oh dear.

Perhaps a different tack.

“Fall back”, so I lose something, sometime like time. So I have less time, so I change the clock so I get less time? No?

I give up.

After some consultation with my mom who is an high-school art teach and therefore used to dealing with confusing, illogical and whack-job concepts, we have come up with something a little more numerically-based to keep things simple when adjusting your clocks:

Spring ADD,


Just remember, keep your Ss apart when you are banking with Daylight Savings.  Thanks for your business and have a nice, albeit shorter, day.

2 thoughts on “Saving Time?

  • November 2, 2014 at 10:20 am

    just ignore all that until i’ve reset all the clocks in the house my love

  • November 2, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    p.s. that’s
    Spring – add an hour to your clock time
    Fall – Subtract an hour from your clock time…
    unless of course things auto-update.


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