Identify Theft – Problem or Opportunity?

So, now that my id has been stolen and I’ve canceled all my credit  cards, I have to deal with the potential identity theft.  Canceling and replacing all the identification that’s been stolen.
Inside Every Shadowy Woman is...
It certainly raises a series of interesting questions:

  • Does that mean I don’t exist right now?
  • What if I decide not to reclaim my identity?  Would any one notice?
  • What if someone steals my identity:
    • do they have to pay my bills?
    • can I make them do my taxes?  Please?
    • do I get a brand new shiny identity?  Please?
      • I think I want to be Latin this time, I’ll be able to speak Spanish and get a better tan.
  • During the reapplication for all this stuff can I tweak my identity?
    • if
      I tell them that they’ve always had my birthday wrong, and I was really
      born on February 3rd will I get a better birthday party? (Dad would
      certainly corroborate this for me.)
  • can I build a brand-new persona or two to facilitate my future activities as a spy? (oops… did I say that out loud??!??)

Hmm, perhaps this pickpocketing thing has opened the door for some new, exciting, overseas travel.

7 thoughts on “Identify Theft – Problem or Opportunity?

  • April 2, 2007 at 12:18 pm
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    [this is good] if you find a way to get a shiny new identity out of this (or get your bills paid), let us know! i’ll have to try it!

    Reply
  • April 2, 2007 at 12:34 pm
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    When I got married, I was very tempted to give myself a bizarre middle name. Too bad you’re no longer allowed to legally change your middle name due to marriage. Stupid US social security rules!

    (ever seen that episode of Friends, where Pheobe changes her name to something really odd?)

    Reply
  • April 2, 2007 at 4:39 pm
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    goobers18 – sure… but how will you know it’s me?

    angelanoel – you could change you middle name when you got married?!?  What was that about? 
    and no, haven’t seen that episode.

    Reply
  • April 2, 2007 at 8:23 pm
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    I say Carpe Diem. Grab some shiny new material, cut out a new Lex, sew her up, try her on, and if she doesn’t fit right, just try something/someone else. I’d suggest trying a peridot coloured linen for spring.

    I am also in the midst of recreating my identity, only because I realized if I don’t maintain a firm hold on its definition, I might get caught in the suburban undertow. A friend of mine said yesterday that I’d be the sexiest mom on the block, and I think I had a petit mal seizure.

    Reply
  • April 2, 2007 at 9:11 pm
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    Considering that I am a big fan of the 3 Rs (reduce, reuse, recycle), if anyone has some of their original identities left over once they finish redecorating, send some out West.  I could use a new look for Spring (though it snowed here today!).  So, peridot is the new colour, is it, Muggs?

    Reply
  • April 3, 2007 at 8:34 am
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    SexyInSuburbia – peridot… I’m a fan! 
    One quick tip for your suburban life, if you are the most interesting person on the guest list, skip the party!

    The Greenhows – I’ll spread the word.

    Reply
  • April 3, 2007 at 9:07 pm
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    I think we can make it the new colour. My new identity includes fashion bellwhether. Not being the most interesting person might be hard, me being me.

    Reply

What do you think?

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