We Ain’t Got Rhythm

Wired For Dreams — Originally uploaded by LexnGer

Well this won’t be news to anyone stalking me on facebook & as well as reading this blog, but on Sunday night I went to St.Mike’s to participate in a Sleep Study.

What instigated this wired-night was a fairly recent diagnosis of for both my parents, and thus the subject of the post. Mom’s arrhythmia is so exciting in fact that she’s gone to the hospital a couple of times for resyncing. Which is less like syncing your palm and more like boosting your car.

While it’s fascinating that you can use to get the lobes of your heart resynced, I have to say it’s not something I’m personally interested in trying out. Ever. I don’t care how good the drugs are.

In an effort to ensure this is not a part of my future, my doctor and I decided it would be smart to check and see if I have . It’s a sleep disorder where you stop breathing during sleep.  I have many of the indicators including a spouse whose sleep is regularly disturbed by my tossing, turning and my snoring. Which early in our relationship (say around years 2-7) he suggested could be “life threatening”. I think it was life threatening because it pissed him off so much he might just smother me for a good night’s sleep. But I digress.

So, Sunday night, in I trundle to St. Mikes, where they wire me up like a Christmas tree.  

They wired up my legs to test for restless leg syndrome, collage23-1my finger to test for oxygen absorption, my jaw to test for teeth grinding, my head for eye movement, brain waves and “dreaming.”

The technician took a moment to tell me while they could tell that I was dreaming, they couldn’t tell what I was dreaming.
“Seriously? People actually think you might be peeping in on their dreams?”
“Yes, that’s why we tell you now we can’t see your dreams, so you don’t ask me what you were dreaming about.”

Then they strapped me up with two very attractive belts which looked like overstretched, overused tensor bandages.  IMG_0214One around my tummy and one around my chest. And oh, boy did I look sexy then.  Of course, that’s when Gerry hauled out the camera and offered to document the session.   Though to be fair, while I was being wired up and strapped down, Gerry also hid little love notes in my book, my boots and in my pillow.

Once Gerry stopped teasing me for being “so wired, how will you sleep?” and headed on home, I got plugged in and crashed myself.

Other than being woken up regularly to readjust cabling (which my friend Kelo suggests is  a regular part of this testing not really to “readjust” anything), it wasn’t that bad.

I was woken up by a loud neighbour around 6am, and out by 6:30.  With goo still in my hair I vetoed the S*bucks, jumped on my bike and came home to sleep.

It’ll take until February to know if I’m apneatic or not. But for all you couch surfers out there, don’t forget the earplugs, I snore. Just probably not to the beat.


Alexa Clark

Alexa is a digital marketer and author with over 20 years in digital & interactive communications in the food and tech industries. Alexa's CheapEats Restaurant Guides, for both Toronto & Ottawa, were Canadian best sellers. She is a recognized authority on social media and has been named one of Canada's 20 Leading Women in Social Media.

6 thoughts on “We Ain’t Got Rhythm

  • November 30, 2007 at 8:28 pm

    That’s one helluva an adventure. I’m a bit disappointed that you have to wait so long for the results, though. All well and good to have the tests done, but waiting 3 months? Grrrr…Ah, well. C’est la vie, I suppose. Just be good to yourself in the meantime! 🙂
    I’ve struggled with restless leg syndrome (that’s where your leg kinda moves around on it’s own when sleeping or trying to sleep, right?). If so, I found doing stretches helped quite a bit.

  • December 2, 2007 at 4:47 pm

    hee hee! Too wired to sleep. That’s hilarious 🙂
    Seriously though – you biked home in November at 6:30am? How many layers were you wearing?! I’m lucky I can get out the door when it drops below zero – let alone feel the wind whipping my face as I bike along before sunrise. You’re nuts.
    But I guess I knew that already. Did they wire you up to test for that though? just to be sure?

  • December 2, 2007 at 4:48 pm

    Three months to get results? It doesn’t sound like this is some life-threatening situation, but still. Makes me wonder what in the world do they have to do with this data in order to analyze it?
    Oh, and love notes, how sweet. 🙂

  • December 2, 2007 at 4:59 pm

    Von & Cath – yah, 3 months is a long time but it’s a test on the off chance I have sleep apnea on the off chance it might cause future difficulties with my heart… so, very not urgent.
    Von – restless leg – stretches eh? That sounds like a great idea. Any particular ones that help?
    Ron & Melvin – he’s a funny man, my man.
    re: biking in November – let’s not forget I live in Toronto not Ottawa. I was biking home, not out. Oh, and I’m well insulated.
    Cath – yes, I have a sweet & loving man.

  • December 4, 2007 at 8:13 pm

    The wired up pics – SO HOT. Particularly the one with the come hither look! Honestly, how did ANYONE get any sleep?

  • December 4, 2007 at 9:03 pm

    roro – I’m so glad you like it. I’m especially fond of the cat, ooops, puppy-like ears caused by the sensors on my head.
    It might amuse you to know that Gerry and I were informed, pointedly, that the video camera pointed at the bed would be “off” until he came back to plug me in. I wonder how many of those pre-test videos show up on YouTube.


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