Headaches and Other Dramas

After weeks of planning, organising and scheming to have a week filled with fun, so far, this has been a week of misses.

I missed Miss.Carol‘s 40th b’day celebration, a slick rooftop party for the hip and happening folk, which I’d been looking forward to for weeks. I had my dress picked out to match my fabulous original Pink Saki purse which was custom-made just for me by Miss.Carol herself.  We had photographed some beautiful pink flowers, which we used to make a little b’day card up, and Gerry was already talking about how he *finally* got to meet Miss.Carol.  But then, just after lunch, a roaring headache kicked in and would not let go.  Not even liberal self-medicating, dark rooms and plenty, I mean PLENTY of advil, would touch it.  I was prone on the couch while my friend celebrated just over two and a half blocks away at her kickin’ soiree. Poop!

Then I missed Creampuff’s Grande Opening of Lies That Bind dramatically.

I was there with plenty of time.  Hours ahead of time in fact.  I even left an excited little comment on her blog about how psyched I was.  Gerry joined me at 6pm and we wandered over for a lovely dinner at Il Bun Ji (not a cheapeat).  We realised my batteries were dead while photographing dinner, and at 8:23pm we found a little Korean market to buy replacements for the play – “no flash please.”

We had schemes of delivering a bouquet of long-stemmed doughnuts to the playwrights but we’d been warned that latecomers would NOT be allowed in. So we decided not to risk it and strolled casually over to the Factory Theatre for the 8:45pm curtain… “Factory Theatre? That sign saysBathurst Street Theatre.  ACKKKK!!!! Where is the Factory Theatre?”

We freaked. We ran for our bikes. We had left them blocks and blocks away. Stopping only to rip off my flowery-theatre-going skirt and pull on my bike shorts, we unlocked and jumped on our bikes. Flying down Bathurst at a pace that would frighten a cheetah, the lights worked with us nary a red stopped our momentum as we sped down to Adelaide. Yes. On Adelaide. You know — where the FACTORY Theatre actually is.

I whipped into the courtyard, as Gerry locked up the bikes, and swooped in on the Fringe ticket sellers who looked up at me unphased,

[blink] “Yes?” [slow head tilt to the left]

[breathlessly] “I need 2 tickets for 87%, please!”
“Oh no, the ticket booth is closed” [turning to her partner in crime] “The house was seated 10 minutes ago.”Nope, only 7 minutes ago,” he piped in “but the doors are closed. No one is allowed in.”

It sounded like they were talking about visiting hours at a prison, but Creampuff had warned me about this.

“Is there any way I could get in?”

[In unison and smugly] “Absolutely not.”

I swore and turned.  “But there will be plenty of other times to see it,” they added unhelpfully.

You might have heard my pigeon-scaring “FcK” echo through the city… lord knows they heard it at the Bathurst Theatre.

Chris says Mercury is in retrograde for the next 3 weeks.  I think I’ll go hide on an island.

Alexa Clark

Alexa is a digital marketer and author with over 20 years in digital & interactive communications in the food and tech industries. Alexa's CheapEats Restaurant Guides, for both Toronto & Ottawa, were Canadian best sellers. She is a recognized authority on social media and has been named one of Canada's 20 Leading Women in Social Media.

8 thoughts on “Headaches and Other Dramas

  • July 6, 2006 at 7:35 pm

    And here I am nagging at you. Sorry to hear you had a bad day.

  • July 6, 2006 at 10:14 pm

    Oh, Lex. This story just gets more tragic, and therefore funnier, EVERY TIME I READ IT. At least now you know about Mercury and can govern yourself accordingly. I, for example, have purchased Valium. Bring it on, planets!!

  • July 7, 2006 at 4:08 pm

    “We realized my batteries were dead while photographing dinner” … this phrase gives me pause. I have seen this behaviour in you, yet in not many other people, even when Mercury is in retrograde. I feel certain that your luck will improve soon and that you won’t have to spend too much time on that desert island. (I’ll bring you pulled pork, or maybe even eggplant, if you are planning a prolonged stay. You can take all the pictures you want.)

  • July 7, 2006 at 8:29 pm


    Woo Hoo! No drama today. Well, none off-stage anyway. I finally made it to Chris Creampuff’s Fringe Show Lies That Bind at the Factory Theatre.   It was a fun frolic in family dysfunction. An awakening for anyone who has a

  • July 7, 2006 at 8:32 pm


    Woo Hoo! No drama today. Well, none off-stage anyway. I finally made it to Chris Creampuff’s Fringe Show Lies That Bind at the Factory Theatre.   It was a fun frolic in family dysfunction. An awakening for anyone who is or

  • July 7, 2006 at 9:22 pm

    I actually went to the Bathurst Street Theatre on opening night and had to scramble back down to Adelaide too. Stupid mercury.

  • July 8, 2006 at 1:51 pm

    Geeze, I should complain more often, look at all the comments it gets me.
    deadrobot – I think I have looked after your nagging needs, but if not, nag away.
    roro & Heather – repeat after me “mercury is my friend, mercury is my friend, mercury is my friend.” Rocking back and forth is optional.
    Venus – I’m definitely running away to that island. Though I’m told it has rained every day but one since early June, so it’s not quite a “desert island.” Do I still qualify for the rockin’ food?

  • July 10, 2006 at 5:30 pm

    Okay Mercury, You Win!

    Yup, mercurial Mercury has had his way with my week already with 2 missed meetings in one day.  So we are following through on my previous threat to hid ourselves away on a deserted island in a deep blue river far, far away. As a rule, retrograde plane…


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